So according to David Deida (and some other guys, but recently I’ve been mostly reading his books) we all have feminine and masculine energies flowing in us and around us. We all are different combinations of these energies no matter whether we are male or female, gay or straight. External factors like education, society norms and so on, influences whether we develop more masculine or more feminine energy in us as well. If we want we can also develop skills to be able to shift to more feminine or more masculine mode of being.
I’ve been observing myself a lot for the past few months trying to notice when I am in the feminine mode and when I’m more in the masculine flow of energy. Actually, just very recently I’ve started to distinguish the flow of those two different energies. I’m talking here not only about the way I talk, dress, walk and so on, but also about the way I respond to the world, challenges and problems; the way I respond to people and their actions and words, sometimes even thoughts; the way I do my practice and so on.
The moment I go into discussion about anything I feel the scale leaning to the masculine side. I want to prove I’m right, I want to show my knowledge…. almost 100% masculine! That also applies to the days when I want to escape from this world and just sit in my room, chant my mantras (the more the better!), sit there in contemplation (don’t move!) and do Yantra Yoga (lots of it and the hard way). Masculine, masculine, masculine. Determined, heavy, one-pionted. And then the feminine comes in and brings lightness (in weight and lucidity); it pulls back the masculine energy into this very reality from the world of ideas and mental meditations. Female energy is being here and now but not in the static moment. It’s being here and now in the movement, in flexibility, in constant manifestation of appearance and disappearance….